Hourglass
by theverystuffoflife
Summary: [Two parter]. On one of the busiest nights of the year, Lily is left seriously injured after an unprovoked attack by a drunken patient. Will Ethan admit his feelings for the young doctor before it is too late? [Ethan/Lily Ethan/Cal]
1. Chapter 1

**Hello :)** **It has been a very long time since I ventured forth into the world of fanfiction writing. Some of you might recognise me from the ridiculously rambly reviews I am fond of leaving on particularly good fanfictions but I have written a fair bit for Casualty in the past. I mostly wrote about Sam/Tom/Fletch etc. who are of course all long gone and although I absolutely adore the current cast I have found their characters quite difficult to get right in fanfiction. Anyway, it has been a very long time since I've written anything remotely creatively, my A Level subjects don't allow for that and so please bear with me as this is probably not very good. However, expect more from me over the coming months as I finish my exams – I have a few ideas for one shots that I can plough through now I have a bit more time on my hands! Anyway, this is a two parter and the second part will be up in due course, probably after my maths exam on Thursday. Let me know what you think if you can :)**

* * *

Dr Lily Chao was stressed. It was safe to say the past few weeks hadn't been easy, and the mess that was the current ED management team - with Mrs Beauchamp facing a life sentence behind bars, Zoe still showing her ineptitude for the clinical lead role and Dr Keogh being his usual absent and awkward self – was driving her to insanity. She thought she'd turned a corner after her recent moped crash but she could tell her concentration and vigilance was starting to slip again.

She sighed deeply as she was brought out of her revere by a nurse handing her at least five more case files – she wasn't even halfway through her shift and she was bone tired, and it definitely wasn't proving to be a quiet night. A drunken end of term for the university students paired with the current staffing crisis meant it was particularly chaotic. The waiting room was starting to get very rowdy, she noted as she made her way to call her next patient. Scanning the room briefly to try and work out who could resemble a 19 year old called Edward Nelson (nearly anybody) before she called his name, she became aware of one man with a bleeding head shouting especially loudly. He was towering over a young woman clutching a toddler and very loudly claiming she'd stolen his chair in the waiting area. The woman looked terrified of the man and her young child very unwell indeed yet the man was bellowing straight into her face. Not even stopping to think- there was no time to think whilst working in an emergency department – Lily marched over to the man purposefully.

"Sir, I suggest you sit down before we call security and have you escorted outside," she barked sternly as the man turned to face her. She didn't realise just how tall and well-built he was until she was by his side. She could smell the alcohol on him and it was clear that he was very drunk.

"Who the hell are you to tell me what to do?!" the man replied, obviously threatened by Lily's intervention. "I pay my taxes for you to treat me, so don't lecture me!"

"Yes, I doubt you do," Lily muttered dangerously. Noting the anger building in the man's eyes, she moved towards the reception desk to call security. She managed only two steps before she felt a sharp pain in her head and the world went black.

* * *

Cal's pulse threatened to jump through the roof as he rushed to Lily's side. He'd seen the girl go down, though helpless to prevent the assault, he heard the sickening crunch her head made as it slammed onto the desk and then the ground. The protests and yells of the man who'd delivered the blow to the junior doctor echoed in Cal's ears as he was dragged away. He had good reason to turn and repay the favour to the man but he stopped dead as he reached the young doctor sprawled lifelessly on the ground.

"Rita, Charlie!" he managed to call out shakily as he spotted the two senior nurses walking past. He didn't have time to gauge their reactions as he fell to his knees, pressing two fingers to Lily's neck and almost collapsing with relief as he felt a weak pulse fluttering under her skin. Scarlett coloured liquid stained her splayed out hair and her skin was shockingly white. "Lily, can you hear me?" he ground out desperately, taking the girl's hand briefly hoping she'd respond. Feeling nothing, he shone his pen torch into her eyes and swore loudly at the lack of response in her pupils.

"Talk to me Cal," Rita's voice made its way into his thoughts and he glanced up to see her equally stricken expression kneeling at Lily's side. He looked up to see Charlie standing over them, ever the professional, but he could see the shock in the older man's eyes.

"She was punched by a patient," he managed, his thoughts struggling to make sense in his head, "hit her head twice on the way down – it was so hard Rita, I'm sure I could hear her skull fracture." Tears threatened to overwhelm the male doctor as he glanced to the ceiling and blinked furiously, knowing he needed to stay professional.

"Okay, Cal – listen to me" Rita's calm voice took the lead, knowing Cal was most likely in shock. "You need to free a resus bed for us and book her an urgent head CT," she glanced at the young doctor lying on the ground noticing her breathing was starting to become shallow. "But find Zoe for us first," she ordered, meeting the registrars gaze. "Now, Dr Knight!"

At that the man seemed to regain composure and with a quick squeeze of the lifeless woman's hand, he practically sprinted into the midst of the ED chaos. "Just hold on for us darling," Rita whispered, feeling the girl's pulse become thready, and then nothing. "She's lost output Charlie." She swore under her breath as she began chest compressions, silently praying they weren't about to lose another colleague so soon.

* * *

As the panic of the night began to settle down, Zoe took the opportunity to slip into resus and check on the young doctor recovering inside. If she was honest, having seen her as she first came into resus Zoe was stunned that the woman had made it. Her heart had stopped for almost 10 minutes and the team were about to give up as a tiny hint of life flickered on the monitor. The concern now was if there was any lasting damage – the CT scan had showed some mild cerebral contusions which were unlikely to cause any long term issues but Zoe knew how unpredictable head injuries could be. It would break all of their hearts to see Lily, who was well known for being fiercely independent, struggle.

She was roused from her thoughts by a small hiss of pain coming from the junior doctor on the bed as she frowned and attempted to open her eyes. Taking her hand gently, Zoe glanced over at the monitors as the woman seemed to remain fairly stable as she regained consciousness, a very good sign.

"Alright Lily," Zoe spoke soothingly to the young doctor as she noticed the panic in her eyes as she tried to gauge her surroundings. "You're okay, just keep nice and still for me."

Lily could have cried out as she awoke, the pain in her head intense and her chest on fire. The lights above her were painfully bright but she could just about make out who she thought was Zoe speaking quietly to her and she could feel a reassuring hand in hers. She tried to turn her head to work out where she was but was hit by a wave of nausea. Panicking, she tried to sit up as she coughed and spluttered but only succeeded in making herself incredibly dizzy. "Alright Lily, just stay calm," Zoe's voice broke into her thoughts again and she could feel the bed moving slightly and a bowl being held under her chin as she vomited violently. A hand moved calmly across her back and she closed her eyes drowsily as the nausea subsided.

"No no Lily, keep your eyes open darling." She tried to obey the voice but her eyelids were heavy. Prising them open, everything seemed just as blurry as before and made her feel claustrophobic.

"I can't see." she whispered tearfully, the confusion becoming suddenly frightening. Why was nobody telling her what was going on? Why was she here?

"Okay, don't panic. You've had a nasty bump to the head Lily, it's quite normal." Zoe smiled reassuringly at the junior doctor and realising just how vulnerable she was right now.

"Am I in resus?" she responded, suddenly realising the severity of the situation as she tried to focus on the consultant stood by her side. She couldn't remember hitting her head, but she knew a whole lot about head injuries.

"Yes, but just for now. You're going to be okay but you have some mild cerebral contusions and a severe concussion, we just need to keep an eye on you for a bit, alright?"

Lily tried to nod in response but then winced as pain shot through her head again. Instead, she just let her eyes flutter shut tiredly, hoping Zoe would know she understood.

"Just try not to move your head too much," Zoe responded lightly, reaching out to squeeze the younger woman's arm. "Rest for now. Can I get you anything Lily?"

"No, I don't think so-" she responded, though Zoe could hear the anxiety in her tone as she made her way to leaving the junior doctor alone.

"I'm going to get Ethan to sit with you for a little bit, alright? I think he might go mad if I make him pace outside the door for much longer."

Lily opened her eyes again long enough to see Zoe, with a knowing smile, wink at her reassuringly, and with another brief squeeze of her arm she removed herself from the edge of the young doctor's bed and left resus, allowing Ethan to make his way into the room.

* * *

"I think you've given poor Caleb a heart attack Lily," Ethan said lightly as he entered resus and made his way to the washed-out looking doctor lying on the bed. "Robyn said she hadn't seen him look so worried since I almost died on him. Between us we are certainly keeping him on his toes." Ethan chatted nervously to the girl, trying to hide the residual anxiousness he felt at seeing his friend looking so unwell. He sighed in relief as a hint of a tired smile crept across Lily's face as she managed to open her eyes.

"Cal was worried?" she whispered, and then her forehead pinched slightly as her headache worsened. "Do you know what happened Ethan?" Hearing of Cal's worry for her was naturally concerning as the two were not always the best of friends, not to mention the sympathetic and somewhat traumatised look Ethan seemed to have etched onto his face whenever he looked at her.

"Yeah, I do," he nodded, moving closer to the younger doctor and sitting on the stool beside her bed. "It's better that you try and remember yourself though, alright?"

"What if I don't though?" Lily replied, frustrated tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. The rational part of her brain told her this was temporary amnesia, but the emotional side of her was terrified that this was the end – of being her own personality, her career… "I'm scared Ethan." She admitted as she gave in to the tears.

"Hey," he murmured soothingly, rising from his seat to sit in front of the woman. "It's still very early on Lily. It'll come back to you, I promise." He reached out gingerly, wiping at the tears falling down Lily's face with his thumb. He relaxed as Lily barely responded to his touch, unsure how she'd react to physical contact. "Been a bit of a shock, hey?"

Lily could only nod as she relaxed back into the pillows slightly, wincing as the pain in her head began to intensify. "My head really hurts," she whispered tearfully, feeling more comfortable admitting she was struggling with the pain in the company of her friend.

"I know," Ethan simply murmured in response before taking Lily's hand. "Just close your eyes, Lily" rubbing small circles onto her palm to soothe the distressed woman. "Get some sleep. It's all going to be okay."

As he watched Lily sleep, Ethan sighed deeply. Lily's assault today had scared the hell out of him that was for sure. He knew that his brother had been left shaken up himself from being witness to the incident but after a good cup of tea and the news that the junior doctor had been stabilised Cal seemed pretty much back to his normal self. So why was Ethan still feeling so anxious? Watching the young woman shift uncomfortably in her sleep, he reached out to take her hand again and smiled to himself as she visibly relaxed back into slumber. She was beautiful, Ethan knew that but he was certain that any feelings he had towards the woman were not reciprocated. Lily was diligent, focused on her work with little time for any form of relationship. So he'd tried to distract himself with other things, notably his brief relationship with Honey which left him heartbroken and confused when she had to leave again for Manchester, and of course the small matter of being defrauded thousands of pounds by his brother. It had been a horrible past 7 months and what he really wanted to do was tell Lily the truth – that he loved her, wanted to be with her and just kiss her – but he was terrified of the inevitable rejection and certainly not as brave as Cal.

Suddenly the monitors which had been beeping melodically started wailing, and Ethan roused from his thoughts and looked over at Lily in concern. She looked like she was sleeping, but her blood pressure was sky-rocketing and her pulse was all over the place. Grabbing his pen-torch hurriedly, he panicked the moment he opened her eyes to see how dilated and fixed her pupils were.

"Ethan, what's going on?!" Ethan hadn't even noticed Zoe enter the room but guessed she'd been alerted to the crash alarm.

"Uh, no idea-" Ethan stuttered, struggling to collect his thoughts. "Blood pressure through the roof, fixed and dilated pupils, cardiac arrhythmia…do you think this is brain herniation?" he asked Zoe, almost praying for her to say no. It was a rare, but viable complication of cerebral contusions and Ethan knew it would almost certainly end in Lily's death.

"I really hope not, the contusions and swelling on the scan weren't anything significant. Definitely raised intracranial pressure though. Could be petechial haemorrhaging, CT scan can easily miss it." Zoe replied, knowing a bleed on the brain was not much better an option than herniation. "Right Ethan crash call the anaesthetist, I'm gonna do an RSI and then fast bleep the neurosurgeons and tell them they are taking her now." Zoe almost barked at the young man, knowing at this point he needed someone to just firmly tell him what to do. Her heart broke for the man – he'd had an awful year what with his mother's death, the minibus crash and all the recent problems with his brother – and Zoe had a feeling it was about to get even worse.

* * *

 **Hope that was okay. Stay tuned to find out what happens to Lily...**

* * *

 ** _Thought I might do a few explanations for medical terms to save anybody confused- (but trust me I'm not an expert, just an aspiring nurse who reads a lot of medical books haha)_**

 ** _Cerebral contusions – basically bruising on the brain_**

 ** _Cardiac arrhythmia – irregular pulse_**

 ** _Brain herniation – a complication of brain swelling (raised intracranial pressure) in which the brain is squeezed past structures in the skull. Very serious as it puts severe pressure on parts of the brain and can cut off blood supply, as well as cause spinal damage._**

 ** _Petechial haemorrhaging – multiple tiny bleeds within the brain, associated with contusions, which often are not visible on CT scans but of course are just as serious as other types of bleed. Often requires surgery as prognosis is poor and can cause pressure in the brain to be very high._**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi, I'm back again with part 2 :) Thank-you all so much for the wonderful, kind and supportive reviews and comments I have received about this little story. I really am grateful and so pleased that so many of you are enjoying my rambling. This part is very much focused around Ethan and Cal's relationship as it is something I really enjoy on screen. Talking of on-screen, how amazing was last nights episode?! I continue to be stunned by the quality of Casualty at the moment, it really has come on leaps and bounds since I started watching religiously two years ago. Anyway, hope you enjoy :)**

* * *

"So this is Esther Thompson's CT scan," Charlie spoke to Cal quietly, enquiring about a patient. "I think judging by the swelling she needs an MRI, what do you think?"

"Hmm yes," Cal replied non-committedly, distracted by the arrival of Robyn behind the older nurse. Charlie frowned at his response noting the doctor's distant glancing and turned to see the young nurse waving a card behind them.

"Alright Robyn?" he enquired gently, knowing the nurse had been unusually quiet since being involved in Lily's treatment earlier in the day. The incident seemed to have shaken up a lot of the staff, reminding them not only of the fragility of their lives but also the vulnerability that faced them in their jobs – it was hard enough coming to terms with Jeff's death whilst on duty not so long ago, but to see Lily so badly injured in the middle of the ED, a place they considered a safe haven compared to the places the paramedics frequented, was a big shock.

There was a strange feeling around the department, one that Charlie had experienced only a few times. The atmosphere remained tense, with police still prowling around and collecting statements and patients who were earlier rowdy were now withdrawn and quiet.

"Yep, I have a card for Lily from everyone in the ED, would you two sign it for me?" Robyn replied enthusiastically. Charlie smiled and nodded in response, before taking the card from the young nurse.

"She's not even out of theatre yet, she might not even make it out-". Charlie turned in surprise to see Ethan hovering by the nurse's station looking visibly upset by unfolding events.

"Ethan-", Cal warned gently, looking just as shocked as Charlie felt by the young doctors' comment.

"No Cal, this is ridiculous. You lot didn't see her just then," Ethan's voice sounded tight, like he was trying not to cry. "She might die Robyn, don't be so premature." Cal was about to step in before Ethan said something he'd regret but the younger doctor simply turned and walked away out of sight. Cal sighed heavily, before smiling apologetically at a bemused looking Robyn and leaving to chase his brother down the corridor.

"He really cares about her, doesn't he?" Robyn commented, smiling sadly at Charlie before placing the card under the desk out of sight.

"I don't think Ethan meant to snap-." Charlie started, but Robyn cut him off. "I know he didn't. He's right anyway." She replied simply, grabbing a patient's file and disappearing into a cubicle, leaving Charlie stood alone at the nurse's station.

* * *

Cal hovered by the staff room door for a few seconds after he saw his younger brother enter. Watching him through the windows, he noted in concern the troubled look pasted upon his paler than usual face and the way he seemed to slump onto the sofa. Ethan was well known in the department for not being one to take breaks and of course the generally chirpy nature he presented whilst at work and so this was highly unusual. Cal thought he knew the reason for his little brother's behaviour this afternoon, and it worried him. He'd seen the relationship between Ethan and Lily strengthen in recent months, although they'd always been good friends, since the minibus crash he'd noticed they had spent a lot more time together. Though the young man had had his brief encounter with Honey, he never let slip the coffee meetings he'd have with his younger friend. He'd tell Cal they were working on a research project together but in reality, Cal could see his little brother falling for the feisty junior doctor.

Of course, Ethan would never have acted on his feelings, being way too socially awkward and chivalrous for Cal's liking – but he could see that Lily's assault had hit Ethan hard. Maybe now all it would take, if Lily did pull through, was a little push from his older brother to finally bite the bullet and tell her how he felt. Cal took a deep breath to ready himself for the inevitable bickering as he gently pushed open the door, trying not to startle the man who was sat with his head in his hands.

"Well, that was maybe a little out of order Nibbles," Cal started on a joke, hoping to garner a reaction from using his pet name.

Ethan glanced up momentarily, rolling his eyes at his older brother. "Seriously Caleb, if you've come to be irritating I'd be much obliged if you left sooner rather than later," he quipped, but Cal could see straight through his sarcastic tone. He smiled gently at the younger man, before frowning as he contemplated the best way to start this conversation. The two men had rarely had "brotherly" chats, in fact the first proper discussion they'd had since their father's death during their teenage years had come after Taylor was arrested a few weeks ago. Cal had been trying hard (and often failing miserably) to make up for the previous fifteen years of general absence by being there for Ethan but he was so stubborn, so world weary, that Cal often found Ethan was the wiser of the pair.

"I don't think Robyn deliberately meant to be insensitive you know," he started tentatively, relaxing slightly as the younger man seemed to acknowledge his words.

"I know," Ethan smiled guiltily, any irrational anger he felt at the young nurse having ebbed away. "She's a good friend to Lily. If anybody, I was the premature one."

"I'm sure she'll forgive you," Cal grinned. "Lily is going to be alright you know Ethan."

Ethan just shrugged and looked to the floor, and Cal could almost see the barriers going up around his younger brother.

"Talk to me Eth," he tried, "I am here for you, as annoying as I can be."

"I'm just worried I've left it too late, yet again. Showing my cowardice and now Lily might die without me ever getting a chance to actually talk to her." Ethan exclaimed, evidently frustrated at himself. Cal resisted the urge to place a comforting hand on the younger man's knee knowing it'd probably wind him up further.

"So you do really like her," Cal smiled at the man noticing the way his cheeks reddened slightly. "Just as well, I was worried that black eye you gave me was for nothing," he quipped, causing both brothers to chuckle slightly.

"I tried to kid myself, distract myself-"

"And nothing worked. Right?" he smirked as the younger man nodded. "That's love little brother. I know Lily, Ethan, and I think if you were to talk to her she'd probably surprise you. She might give off that icy persona but deep down I think all she really wants is acceptance and to be loved by somebody. If you can give her that, tell her." Cal didn't know when he'd suddenly become equipped with the ability to give decent advice but he decided he was on a roll.

"It's not nearly the same, but you know after the crash, when you were really sick and we weren't sure if you'd pull through;" Cal closed his eyes as memories of that day flooded through his mind. "I sat by your bedside and there were so many things I wanted to say to you. What came out was a jumbled load of rubbish, you heard that for yourself but it felt good to finally say all those things I'd been holding inside. You have your opportunity to do that now, with Lily. Take it."

Ethan nodded slightly, turning to smile fondly at his older brother. "I think that's the wisest thing I've ever heard you say," he joked, desperate to lighten to mood despite recognising the truth in his brother's words.

"Me too," Cal grinned in response, before turning as the staffroom door opened slowly and a sombre looking Zoe entered. Both brothers seemed to subconsciously straighten as the consultant walked closer.

"Lily's out of theatre," she said, a relieved but tired smile creeping across her face. "It's still touch and go, she's in ICU and ventilated and the neurosurgeons said there's a fair amount of damage but they think she'll make a good recovery."

"Thank god for that," Cal breathed in relief, letting his hands run over his face before noticing his brother seemed particularly quiet.

"Yeah, more like thank the NHS for that," Zoe quipped, "I think she'd be alright for visitors now. I've given her parents a call but they live in Durham, it'll be a while before they get here so she could do with someone to sit with her."

Cal nudged his brother gently, smiling as he seemed to jump back to earth. "Right you, go and see the Ice Princess. Tell her I'll be up to see her later to tell her off for ruining my macho reputation."

Ethan chuckled, knowing his older brother was somewhat embarrassed by his state of shock after Lily's assault earlier in the day.

"Is Caleb in there?" the three doctors heard a shout from outside the room, recognising the voice as Rita's. "Tell him to stop slacking and do some work, his woman in cubicle 8 is asking for him!"

"Ah yes, the 88 year old with a fetish for young doctors in grey scrubs," Zoe snorted, "good luck with that one Dr Knight."

"Yeah, that's my cue," Cal mumbled and sloped out of the staff room, not before giving his little brother a quick reassuring pat on the shoulder.

* * *

Ethan always marvelled at the peacefulness of the ICU. It was not a place he frequented often but compared to the chaos of the ED, despite being equally emotionally charged, it was incredibly quiet.

"Hi," Ethan almost felt the need to whisper to the nurse at the desk in order not to disturb the quiet equilibrium. "I'm Dr Ethan Hardy from the ED, I'm here to check on one of my colleagues, Lily Chao?"

"Ah yes," the ward sister smiled reassuringly at the doctor, seemingly sensing his nervousness. "Lily is just this way if you want to follow me." The nurse led Ethan through the maze of incredibly unwell looking patients who only served to further heighten his anxiety. "We don't think Lily will be here for very long. She's doing well so far – is she a particularly stubborn person Dr Hardy?"

Ethan laughed, nodding knowingly. "The most stubborn person I know."

"Yes you can tell," chuckled the nurse. "It's serving her well this time. She's a tough cookie. Here she is," the nurse led Ethan to a side room. "You'll know all about the tubes and wires of course, but they might still be a bit of a shock."

The nurse was right – Lily seemed to be swallowed into the bed, drowning in the ventilators and IV lines attached to her. She looked impossibly small and Ethan was genuinely shocked. "I'll leave you to it, let me know if you need anything." the nurse commented gently before disappearing back onto the ward.

Ethan was reluctant to even touch the younger woman, she looked so fragile. Her head was wrapped in a huge dressing from the surgery with drains coming out at all angles, and the ventilator was distractingly noisy.

"Well, you don't do things by halves Dr Chao." Ethan smiled gently, sitting down in the chair placed by her bed. "You're going to be so annoyed when you see your hair though," he commented, knowing a large chunk would have had to have been shaved for the surgery.

"You know my brother gave me some viable advice today," Ethan quipped, feeling somewhat silly talking to a comatose person but knowing he should practise what he preached to families of ventilated patients in the ED. "You'd laugh at me if you could – probably remind me of how manipulative and dodgy he is…I don't know. I think he's alright really, Lily, he is trying. He told me I needed to talk to you properly and tell you how I feel. I think whilst you're asleep is a good start, don't you?"

Ethan knew he'd have to have this conversation again, when Lily was eventually conscious, but practicing now wouldn't hurt, not to mention all that evidence that suggested coma patients could hear what was going on around them.

"I think what I want to say is – I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not telling you before how much you mean to me. You've been a brilliant friend to me and I'm not the easiest person to be friends with." Ethan smiled, reaching to grasp the cold hand of his friend. "You make me so happy, even with your pig headed doctoring, cello-playing at 3am and obsession with sushi." He stood up, gently brushing some loose hair from the young doctors eyes and pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. "Yes, I think I do love you Lily Chao," he commented with finality.

* * *

 **Well that's it! I thought this was a good place to leave this story, didn't want it to drag out for too long. I hope it lived up to your expectations, please do let me know what you thought :) I'll be back very soon with some more stories, fic-writing is proving rather cathartic for exam stress at the moment! Bethany x**


End file.
